On The Edge... Again
Fast Forward 32 years. Starting January 2, 2012, I am back on the ice doing something else that was unheard of .... Adult Figure Skating. We had "coffee club", which was like adult swim, but there was no opportunity for testing or competition.
It has now been 5 years since I got back on the ice. My blog is still going. My YouTube channel has over 1000 subscribers. That’s just crazy!
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
The Agony of Defeat ...
Why am I doing this? Today was a compound disaster day.
For unknown reasons I woke in one of those moods. Hubby says "anything wrong?" To which I reply "no". Obviously something threw me off kilter.
I arrived at the 2:15 session ready for 2 lessons. Coach first then choreographer. I warmed up and felt ok having stroked a few laps, done some edges and cross strokes, stretched at the wall, etc.
Then I made the mistake of talking. Talking to my coach about my displeasure of the changes in my choreography and how I didn't feel like it was going in the direction I wanted it to. At some point she said.. "Diane you look like you are about to cry". Within seconds .. there I was standing at the wall, balling my head off for no reason except that I was embarrassed that I was upset and in tears. It was a vicious circle for 5 or 10 minutes, which I felt was an utter waste of my lesson time and money... made me more upset.
Finally we stepped away from the wall and tried to work on the program a bit. I floundered and didn't ... no COULDN'T skate well. Then she passed me off to the choreographer and I spent another 20-30 minutes with her, floundering, falling (hard a few times) and coming away totally beaten to a pulp. $60 poorer do to paying for lessons where I couldn't learn anything with my own mental blocks.
I'm home now. Had a cocktail, played golf with my husband, came home had dinner and a glass of wine and I am not able to see this for what it was ... a bad day. Nothing more. And the moral of the story is: Show up for a lesson with your mind and body open .. not closed and don't spend lesson time talking. It's a waste of time.